I debated posting this for a few days. I’m deciding to because when I was googling for something. I found nothing. I hope this helps someone:
A lot of people don’t talk about this. Some do. Most don’t. I’m not sure why. Maybe embarrassment. Maybe fear. Maybe they think they are alone. You aren’t. It happens. It’s real. I’ve talked to some people and we aren’t alone.
Laura and I have been trying to conceive for a bit. I won’t go into how long, at least not right now, so don’t ask. Talking to some people has helped. But, only a little. The internet, as far as we have found (Googled) doesn’t have much info.
“Just stop trying, it will happen”
“It’s so much fun!”
“It just happened!!”
I’m happy for these people? I really am. But at the same time F**K YOU, it’s just not that way for us.
2 things have happened recently that have set me over the edge. We took a break this month, just casually “trying” without any kind of schedule. We randomly thought we had a bite on the line so I went to the pharmacy to buy a test. The cashier wished me congratulations when I checked out. Then she asked me if I was excited. There are so many things wrong with this type of person doing this. I had a few friends in high school that worked as a cashier at a pharmacy. They aren’t supposed to ask personal questions. If they see a classmate buying something like condoms they aren’t supposed to say anything about it to anyone. It’s private. Ok, back to the present. First of all, f**k you. Second, that’s so dangerous. My response was “hopeful.” That’s about all I could get out without leaping over the register. It’s annoying enough that that is in no way shape or form the “congratulations” part of the timeline. You don’t know yet, that’s why you are getting the TEST. Second, can you imagine if we weren’t trying and something happened and this was completely unexpected. What would have been going through my head and then to hear those words? The response would have been: “Terrified, you b**ch”
The second thing happened this morning, and what spurned this post. I was still asleep. Laura was on Facebook. Facebook served her an adoption ad. Facebook, you fucking sleazy, creepy, f**king awful piece of sh*t. I don’t even want to know how you have the data to correlate that. I could probably figure it out, but that would probably end in me canceling my account. If you are going to show an ad like that (at least on Facebook), you need to KNOW that the person is looking to adopt. Not just something like “the person got married,” then “googled something baby,” and now months later, hasn’t googled “stroller”. Showing an ad like that to someone who is trying is beyond fucked up.
Facebook: For what you did to my wife this morning, if you were a person, I would have found you, and I would have hurt you.